Follow the White Rabbit…
by bkajlich
I do a lot of strange things.
Sometimes, as I’m heading into another one of my adventures, I’ll start questioning myself as the reality of what I am about to do sinks in. This is usually about the time that my mom or sister will get a slightly shaky voiced phone call letting them know that I’m bout to go dark. No cell phones allowed for the next couple days. Such are the rules at these types of things…
“What kind of things?” you’re probably wondering at this point(or you’re not, cause you could care less and are probably heading back to Twitter or FB now). Well, I’m not talking about anything strange or extreme like skydiving, or cliff jumping, or cave diving or swimming with sharks… (FYI, I am terrified of flying AND sharks and my worst fear is that I will be on a plane that crashes into the ocean and SURVIVE!!!… only to be eaten by sharks. But I digress) No. I’m not talking about adrenaline-junky outdoorsy stuff. In fact, the complete opposite. I’m talkin bout following a seemingly innocent, fluffy white bunny down a mother truckin rabbit hole.
AKA the journey into the inner workings of this crazy ass mofo that I sometimes refer to as “myself”.
My free falls down the rabbit hole have included any number of things that most people would categorize under the title of NEW AGE SHIT. I prefer to call it OLD AGE as most of it has been around since before you were a twinkle in the twinkle of the eye twinkle that started all twinkles. However, I get it. It’s all kinda weird. And my guilty admission is that I LOVE IT ALL. And the more I involve myself in it, the weirder it gets and the more it helps me understand all the shizz that I don’t.
NOW. I do think I’m pretty normal when it comes to most things. I have healthy doses of confidence and insecurities. I try to practice moderation but find it difficult in matters concerning A) food B) love C) animals(hence my four dogs) and D) did I say food? However, there is one way in which I wish everyone would let themselves embrace a little more of the crazy… and that is in whatever way you find best allows you to get to the heart of your authentic truth. In other words:
WHO ARE YOU WHEN ALL ELSE FADES AWAY?
Very few of us can answer this question at first blush. If you can… kudos to you, and I hope you will share a little of your journey with the world in some capacity, we need more of these stories. And if you can’t even think of where to begin to answer this question, kudos to you too! This moment of honesty will serve as the first step towards a very big and rewarding adventure. Mine begin almost exactly 15 years ago(click to read because that’s a whole nother story). What started with meditation classes evolved into retreats; some involving other people, some that involved just me, on my own. Ayurveda soon followed; it is the world’s oldest medicinal practice and means “the science of life” It has brought such balance and peace into my world. Newer interests include Tantra and Tarot, and specific energy and body work. I have sat with perfect strangers in solidarity as we opened ourselves to our greater truths in front of one another… I have sat alone with myself and bawled like a big ol baby as I came to terms with my imperfections and the ways in which I still have so much to learn. I have grown to love my flaws as much as my strengths. I have grown to forgive, and let go, and to try to find compassion for all… even those that our world would have us believe do not deserve it. I am striving, living, dying every day to keep my heart open open open. That is the only truth my friends, that is the only choice that leads us into the arms of love.
Follow your white rabbit. It doesn’t have to be meditation or retreats. It doesn’t have to be New Age or Old Age or involve anything that you don’t like or makes you uncomfortable. Well, it should make you a little uncomfortable… enough so that you are pushed beyond the boundaries that prevent you from being honest with yourself. But mostly…
It just has to open your heart.
It just needs to teach you about you. It needs to show you the way to be patient and kind. It could be working on something that focuses your mind and brings you peace. It might be learning a new language. Doing charity work. Maybe it’s simply waking up each day and being honest about what scares you. Or just admitting to yourself that you are a work in progress and lovable YES LOVABLE every step of the way.
Open your eyes. Trust your heart. Let your white rabbit show you the way.
xxb
As I sit here at 230 am, in the hills of East Tennessee, I could not be more removed from the “Hollywood” actor/actress lifestyle than I am now, but I get it, I totally understand what your talking about.
and that means more to me than you know. much love my friend. xxb
Keep looking inward and too the heavens above we all need too find that connection
Thank you for sharing and for the inspiration to share my own journey. I write already, maybe I’ll share a bit more. …Peace.
Amazingly written, brought me to the edge of tears, you described a way of going about life that (In a similar way) I try to follow every week, day, hour, minute. Although I’m somewhat new to living and thinking with this outlook, it is something that I have really been able to connect with. It took a hard fall into a deep dark hole for me to be introduced to a completely new way of life. It hasn’t been easy by any means bringing myself back, and there are always times when I feel like I’m slipping backwards, but for me as well I take some time to re-center myself and come back to life hopefully stronger and more open to life and all that comes with it than I was. I can relate to your blog post on many levels, and it was written better than I could even imagine putting into words.
Reading your blogs and tweets, you’ve given me many things to ponder. I thought I would try to return the favor. Just came across this recently. It’s very fascinating to me, hopefully you will get something out of it. Gregg Braden has many interesting videos, here is one to hopefully get your mind flowing.
Sometimes I follows and catches and boils the white rabbit and sometimes I just follows
Thoroughly enjoy reading the random musings you brings us….(you need 5 dogs )
It’s always great to see somebody else going through similar stuff like you are, so you feel connected to humanity on some kind of abstract level, and you are not afraid to keep investigating the world and yourself in it. I just saw that you are one year younger then me. I have been through so much stuff and yet still feel totally amazed by things you can see and learn. Last year I got myself a tattoo all over my arm and chest, sang in front of thousands of people in a Tool tribute band, and learned to play bass. A year before I could not have imagined it. This year Im building my dream home and producing my first album. It just gets better and better and all the shit that comes I just grind through, because I know that there is no ecstasy without agony. Its the natural way of things. My sincere regards to you.