The Space In Between

Sometimes I sits and thinks and sometimes I just sits

ok? ok.

I was going to start out this post with the explanation of the origin of the word “OK” but then I read about it and it’s kinda long winded and boring and so, nevermind. It’s been a bit of a long day, but I had something on my mind and just wanted to share.

I connected with a very old friend of mine last night who is going through some seriously crappy shizz. It made me reflect upon the boatload of crappy shizz that I myself have experienced, and that in turn made me want to come on here and write to anyone else who has a case of the crap shizz goin on. Here’s the deal.

everything is going to be ok.

I have been extremely fortunate in my life, but I’ve also had an intense amount of trauma and loss and am somewhat of an expert on the “this is shit, when will it ever feel better” variety of living.  I have concocted this response to any circumstance in which you find yourself experiencing fear, anxiety, anger, loss, heartbreak, pain etc etc. You ready for it? here it is:

IT’S JUST LIFE.

That’s it. We are here for a blink of an eye people. We make so much dang noise about everything that we are supposed to do and be and feel and see, and the truth of it all is that it’s just fluffy stuffing puffing up this dream that we’ve concocted about what it all MEANS. Whether you are religious or not, the real meat of the matter is what happens before we wake up and after we go to sleep. We are born and we die. Do not make what happens here more complicated than it need be. This is not to say that you don’t mourn your losses and sit with the grief. Feel whatever it is that you are going through.. but as you do so, let there be a part of you that nods knowingly to the inner sanctum wherein you will always playfully wink at all that transpires.

The part that knows that it’s just life, that it’s an inhale and an exhale in the greater scheme, and that everything, EVERYTHING! is going to be ok.

xxb

 

 

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Over the Moon…

There are many reasons I have neglected my poor little blog. One of the best and most important ones is that I became a mom. ME! I did! On April 9th, My husband Michael and I welcomed our daughter Magnolia Moon Catherwood into the world. I have not stopped smiling since. Okay, that’s a lie. But I MOSTLY have been smiling except for little interludes of grumpiness about the usual suspects; sleep etc. I will spare you the boring details. The bottom line is, she is fantastic and we are beside ourselves in love. Being a parent kicks ass and it also kicks your ass. You know when you look at yourself in one of those obnoxious ULTRA magnification mirrors and you realize that your skin actually looks like shit?? Yeah it’s like that. It  brings to light every thing you ever thought about yourself and throws it all on its ass. And there’s the worry. As someone who has always wondered about a great many things, I find myself obsessing about the world and the kind of place that it will be as my daughter grows up. As much as the world has changed since I was a child, I can’t imagine what awaits her as she goes through the major milestones of her youth. I worry about the fate of the planet, the effects of social media on her self worth, the precarious nature of certain relationships between various countries around the globe. You know, the basics. Just turn on the damn news and let your mind go wild.  I’m convinced that they sent a memo around to all the news stations and said “whatever you do, just make sure it will scare the shit out of parents. Ratings bonanza!!!!”

A couple days ago I went for a walk down the Venice Boardwalk. If you’ve ever been, you know why it’s referred to as “the venice freakshow”  Pretty much anything goes, and unfortunately a lot of what goes is the direct result of drugs and alcohol. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for entertainment, I just feel badly for the ill people, but that’s a whole nother blog post. Anyway, as I was walking with a friend, we passed a homeless man “playing” the violin. I put playing in quotations because the violin had MAYBE one string that was still attached and the bow was broken. The result was nails on chalkboard, bad. However, if you were deaf and just blind enough that you could only see the man playing but not the four flailing stings, you would have thought this was Antonio Vivaldi resurrected from the dead. Whatever he was hearing, it was the concerto of his life.  As we walked away, I turned to my friend laughingly and said “what if he’s right, and we’re wrong?”….

Alan Watts, the great British philospher, speaks about “Yin and Yang”, the concept of opposing principles. Yang stands for the positive, and Yin, the negative. The two poles show that everything has its counterpart, and that in fact, one cannot prevail without the other.

Yin and Yang

Think about this in the form of good and bad, one does not exist without the other. SO. No increase in good will ever be without an increase in bad, and vice versa. Say you want more money. You can’t have it without more of the negative as well. C’mon, we all know, “mo money, mo problems”. Oh yes, I went there.

“what”, you may be asking, “in holy hell does this have to do with your daughter and crazy violin guy?!!”

chill. I’m getting there.

Everything is in balance. Always has been, always will be. There will always be directly proportional amounts of good and bad. And all of it depends on how you choose to see it. Problem is, cash is king, and the news is no exception. What you and I are exposed to is a 24/7 steaming pile of fear stew served up hot and ready. Because BAD NEWS PAYS. We are bombarded by it. We are overwhelmed by it. Can you imagine what todays news would be like in the Middle Ages? Hello, have you watched Game Of Thrones??! Did you know that we are actually living in one of the most peaceful eras since the dawn of human existence?? Truth.

I’m realizing that the world my daughter will face as she grows older depends greatly on the way she is taught to see it. If I live my life in worry and fear of an awful world gone crazy, then an awful, crazy world is what she’ll see. If I show her by example that there is just as much good, that hope exists, that the answer to every one of her questions is love… then maybe this world will have one more warrior of light. Then maybe the man playing the broken violin is right…

The beauty is in what you choose to believe. Play on. xxb

Mariana Kajlich Photography

Mariana Kajlich Photography

 

 

 

I wish I was a baller…

 

I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller…. Oh Skee-Lo. I got this little ditty stuck in my head today as I sat in an office full of absolutely stunning, beautiful women all waiting to meet on a film project. Each time the door opened, a new candidate walked in with even LONGER legs, even more perfectly coifed hair, even sultrier sexy skin, and even more impeccably styled clothing. I found myself playing the wishing game. “wow. I wish I had her small waist. gosh, I wish I had her effortless style. hmmm why doesn’t my hair look like that when I throw it in a ponytail??”  I started thinking about how often I do this to myself.. absentmindedly making a mental list of all the things I wish I could change about me. Seeing things that others have and wondering how I could be better/cooler/hipper/etc if only I was like that too. A girlfriend of mine is in this really cool band and the other day I started wishing that I could be that rad girl up on stage, singing her heart out and getting all artsy fartsy while remaining cool and edgy at the same time(this is apparently something I have longed for and yet never knew until I saw artsy fartsy that remained cool and edgy and then I was like “OMFG I WISH I COULD BE LIKE THAT”) and I guess it’s resonated with me deeply enough that it’s time to get back on the ol’ blog and write about this shizz.

Now. For SURE, someone at some point has said to you that “YOU SHOULD EMBRACE YOURSELF AND BE HAPPY TO BE YOU AND IF WE WERE ALL THE SAME  IT WOULD JUST BE BORING” and while that’s true, it doesn’t really help when it feels like you damn well got the short end of the stick.

Here are my two cents on this subject:

EVERYONE. WISHES. THEY. COULD. CHANGE. SOMETHING. ABOUT. THEMSELVES. You hear me?

EVERYONE!!!!

And while it may seem insane that certain people who appear to have it all could POSSIBLY find something to moan about, try to remember that it’s all relative and I’m betting even Gisele Bundchen looks in the mirror some days and wonders what all the fuss is about. And the bottom line is that it all has very little to do with superficial things like longer legs and 6-pack abs. Those are just the excuses that we tell ourselves to explain why we’re not happy. The truth is, we are all just scared shitless that we are NOT ENOUGH. We are hoping and praying that somewhere, somehow, SOMEONE will show us that they believe we are as important and as special as we secretly dream that we might be.

And oh my darlings… how right you are. You are that and so very much more. Only, no one needs to show you. The only person who can ever get you to understand the true nature of your perfection is the same one who looks to every other person and mutters those two little words… “I wish”.

I’d like you to ask that person a question. (if I’ve lost you, it’s you. I’m asking you to ask yourself a question, comprende?)

WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO BE WHATEVER YOU WANT TO BE??

We’ve gotten wrapped up in some cockamamie notions in this day and age and one of them is that you have to have an identity and stick with that til mother truckin kingdom come. WHY???!!! WHO MADE THAT STUPID RULE??! Let me tell you! Sometimes I am outgoing and loud. And then some days I’m an introverted hermit. Sometimes I be a clown! I can be an artist, and I can be the critic. There are times when I am buttoned up and others when I am LOOSEY GOOSEY WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!  Today: Vegetarian. Tomorrow: CARNIVORE!!!! There are times when I am the baddest mofo out there and others when my friends and family have probable cause to shove me off a cliff because I am THAT BIG OF AN IDIOT.  There are spans of time when I am so poetic and beautiful and I feel like mother earth… and then I’ll wake up one morning and fall straight flat on my ass and the next few days I am a complete disaster, hot HOT MESS. Stop limiting yourselves by defining who you are based on some archaic societal concepts. BE WHATEVER YOU FREAKING FEEL LIKE!  You are a spectacular, pulsating, iridescent orb of energy that is a waking breathing MIRACLE every SECOND of your time on this earth!!!! YOU YOU YOU ya nutbar!!

SO. Stop wishing. Start being. Let go of the things you can’t change. Explore the wonder that is you. Imagine what gifts you bring into a waiting room full of human beauty. Maybe next time, instead of noticing the girl with longer legs, or the guy with with the 6 pack abs, you’ll feel the warmth of her smile and the depth of his heart.

my love to you all. xxb

The Courage and The Will

Charlie Chaplin said that “life is a beautiful, magnificent thing, even to a jellyfish. The trouble is, you won’t fight. You’ve given up. But there’s something just as inevitable as death, and that’s life. Think of the power of the universe- turning the earth, growing the trees. That’s the same power that is within you- if you’ll only have the courage and the will to use it”.

Last week I asked the lot of you on Twitter if you were happy on a daily basis. Some of you said yes. Some of you asked how I define happiness. MOST of you said that “NO”, you are not happy. When I asked you specifically what you would have to do to change that, the majority seemed to have given up hope, resigned to the idea that this is how it’s going to be.

That breaks my heart.

It hurts because I know what it feels like to be trapped within the death grip of despair. To desperately crave a glimpse of the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel and yet have absolutely no faith that such a beacon exists. I have, more than once, felt that this life was not worth living. I have pondered what it might feel like to make a hasty exit. I have all but given in to that deep, dark desire.

AND…

I have found my way back home. I’ve learned that you can be at the bottom of the barrel and still look up and see the azure blue of the sky. I’ve found that it is possible to remain calm, living and breathing within my center as the storm rages on around me. And it’s not just me. I’ve watched my younger brother struggle with horrific, life altering injuries that could have easily been the end for him, mentally as well as physically. I have witnessed his incredible strength of character and will come into play as time and time again he flips the odds his middle finger. What’s that? Never gonna walk again? How bout completing the IronMan in Kona??! Take THAT bitches.

Here’s the deal peeps. THAT, whatever you think THAT is when you look at your heroes; an amazing life, Happiness, Courage, Strength. The ability to do and be whatever you want. That thing that you have deluded yourself into thinking is reserved for people in music montages and top ten plays on Sportcenter… It lives and breathes within you too. It is there, without QUESTION, nestled somewhere in your brain between the words I can’t and I don’t. Quit feeding yourself the bullshit lies. You have just as many days and hours and minutes as most of the great people you admire. There is no reason why you can’t live the life you have imagined. NONE. Got that?! And if for some reason you can’t even imagine what kind of life you’d like to live then how bout this:

Aspire to live a life in which you make a difference for at least one other individual. Open your heart. Stop thinking about yourself. Make it your goal to make life a little easier or better for the next guy or gal. Start small. Look people in the eye when you talk to them. Reach out to someone in need. Volunteer for something greater than you. DO SOMETHING. Quit worrying about getting ahead and getting the things you want. Worry about cultivating kindness in your heart and you know what? BAM. One day you will look around and realize without even imagining it, you are living a life of love and prosperity. Because the biggest not so secret trick is that a life lived in pursuit of other people’s happiness, magically engineers happiness for you too.

Why is it so hard? Why does it seem so impossible for so many to imagine themselves living the good life?

It’s because we have forgotten what that means. We think it means more money, more stuff, FAME, visibility, feeling important. But YOU ARE IMPORTANT ALREADY. You are important because you are here, living this life, part of this experience. Nobody needs to notice you having that experience to validate it. YOU validate it by BEING YOU.

And oh my are you beautiful when you are YOU. I’m serious. There will never be another one like you. Own it. Live it. Flourish in the glory of the you-ness that is you. Take it all the way my friends. Break through the shackles of your own self loathing, your self imposed limitations, your fears.

Have the courage and will to use all that you have been given.

and when you fear what you have been given, might not be enough…

remember that dear Charlie Chaplin

above all else,

was simply

a clown.

xxb

Follow the White Rabbit…

I do a lot of strange things.

Sometimes, as I’m heading into another one of my adventures, I’ll start questioning myself as the reality of what I am about to do sinks in. This is usually about the time that my mom or sister will get a slightly shaky voiced phone call letting them know that I’m bout to go dark. No cell phones allowed for the next couple days. Such are the rules at these types of things…

“What kind of things?” you’re probably wondering at this point(or you’re not, cause you could care less and are probably heading back to Twitter or FB now). Well,  I’m not talking about anything strange or extreme like skydiving, or cliff jumping, or cave diving or swimming with sharks… (FYI, I am terrified of flying AND sharks and my worst fear is that I will be on a plane that crashes into the ocean and SURVIVE!!!… only to be eaten by sharks. But I digress) No. I’m not talking about adrenaline-junky outdoorsy stuff.  In fact, the complete opposite. I’m talkin bout following a seemingly innocent, fluffy white bunny down a mother truckin rabbit hole.

AKA the journey into the inner workings of this crazy ass mofo that I sometimes refer to as “myself”.

My free falls down the rabbit hole have included any number of things that most people would categorize under the title of NEW AGE SHIT. I prefer to call it OLD AGE as most of it has been around since before you were a twinkle in the twinkle of the eye twinkle that started all twinkles. However, I get it. It’s all kinda weird. And my guilty admission is that I LOVE IT ALL. And the more I involve myself in it, the weirder it gets and the more it helps me understand all the shizz that I don’t.

NOW.  I do think I’m pretty normal when it comes to most things. I have healthy doses of confidence and insecurities. I try to practice moderation but find it difficult in matters concerning A) food B) love C) animals(hence my four dogs) and D) did I say food? However, there is one way in which I wish everyone would let themselves embrace a little more of the crazy… and that is in whatever way you find best allows you to get to the heart of your authentic truth. In other words:

WHO ARE YOU WHEN ALL ELSE FADES AWAY?

Very few of us can answer this question at first blush.  If you can… kudos to you, and I hope you will share a little of your journey with the world in some capacity, we need more of these stories.  And if you can’t even think of where to begin to answer this question, kudos to you too! This moment of honesty will serve as the first step towards a very big and rewarding adventure. Mine begin almost exactly 15 years ago(click to read because that’s a whole nother story). What started with meditation classes evolved into retreats; some involving other people, some that involved just me, on my own. Ayurveda soon followed; it is the world’s oldest medicinal practice and means “the science of life” It has brought such balance and peace into my world. Newer interests include Tantra and Tarot, and specific energy and body work.  I have sat with perfect strangers in solidarity as we opened ourselves to our greater truths in front of one another… I have sat alone with myself and bawled like a big ol baby as I came to terms with my imperfections and the ways in which I still have so much to learn. I have grown to love my flaws as much as my strengths. I have grown to forgive, and let go, and to try to find compassion for all… even those that our world would have us believe do not deserve it.  I am striving, living, dying every day to keep my heart open open open. That is the only truth my friends, that is the only choice that leads us into the arms of love.

Follow your white rabbit. It doesn’t have to be meditation or retreats. It doesn’t have to be New Age or Old Age or involve anything that you don’t like or makes you uncomfortable. Well, it should make you a little uncomfortable… enough so that you are pushed beyond the boundaries that prevent you from being honest with yourself. But mostly…

It just has to open your heart.

It just needs to teach you about you. It needs to show you the way to be patient and kind. It could be working on something that focuses your mind and brings you peace.  It might be learning a new language. Doing charity work. Maybe it’s simply waking up each day and being honest about what scares you. Or just admitting to yourself that you are a work in progress and lovable YES LOVABLE every step of the way.

Open your eyes. Trust your heart. Let your white rabbit show you the way.

xxb

Happy Sunday.

That perfect tranquilty of life, which can only be found in retreat,
a faithful friend, and a good library.
~Aphra Behn

REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE ALIVE.

I BELIEVE I CAN FLY

The Rules

Many of you who visit this blog most likely found it because you are fans of my tv sitcom Rules Of Engagement. If so, you probably know by now that we had our season order reduced to 13 episodes this year, and last night marked the final taping of season 6. Whether there will be a season 7 remains to be seen. We will find out in May when the networks make their picks for the fall season.  I am optimistic, as I always try to be… but I know only all too well that this is a business and at the end of the day, it is out of our hands. Last night could have very well been our final farewell. Such is life in this industry.  If it indeed was, I doubt there could have been a more suitable goodbye for the cast and crew of Rules. At a bar down the street from our beloved stage 28 at Sony studios, we karaoke’d well into the night.  It’s a tiny place we hit up after most tape nights… affectionally referred to as “Sticky Bar”; for reasons that I will leave up to your own imaginations…

Below is the last song of the night; everyone together, sweaty and hoarse, in only my new most favorite group sing-along of all time…and there have been some sing-alongs in this life o’ mine…

This show has been my home for the last 6 years. A home that held me through some pretty intense life moments… the crumbling of my marriage, the death of my father, the swirling whirlwind of loss and change, the space in between where all was surrendered and the old skin shed… the hike back up the mountain resumed.

I could not have done it without this cast and crew.

I want you all to know, that the people who have kept you laughing on Monday nights at 9:30, and then Mondays at 8:30 and then Thursdays at 8:30 and then Saturdays, wait no back to Thursdays at 8:30 (let us not forget midseason, full season/WHOOPS writers strike!!! then midseason again, and another midseason, OH HEY FULL SEASON, and back to half season…) are incredible, funny, GOOD, caring, and genuine people who I love so very very much. Our crew works their asses off and comes back year after year even when they haven’t been guaranteed an entire season of work. I have never, not one day in 6 years, not wanted to come to work. (well maybe just once or twice, when lingerie was involved, and I hadn’t laid off the cake and cookies :p). I am so very honored to have worked with everyone on our set, from the camera operators, Grip & Electric, to Rhonda in Craft Services. Shelley, Bri, MAD PROPS Prop Masters!! Our awesome stand-ins, the incredible Ron who keeps our audiences laughing in between takes, The incomparable Ted Wass… OUR A.D. TEAM!!! To my besties in Wardrobe, daily therapy in hair & makeup, and the entire production team, writing staff and producers… THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

I don’t think that until last night, I really understood, nor appropriately appreciated, what Rules has meant to me.  It really is so hard to see what a gift something is, especially when we are so focused on what comes next.  In a world where the emphasis is put on moving up the ladder, it’s easy to treat wherever you’re at like a waiting room.  Never investing much time or thought into the happenings within… only worrying about what’s on the other side of the door you plan to walk through.

It’s good to have dreams, great to set goals, exciting to think about hitting new heights… but let’s not forget about the lessons we learn along way. The freeway sure does feel fast and furious, adrenaline pumping.. but how awful would it have been if that’s where we learned to drive? YOU ARE EXACTLY WHERE YOU NEED TO BE TO LEARN WHAT YOU NEED TO LEARN AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT. TRUST THIS. I know that there are still many amazing memories to be made in this career of mine. I hope I get to travel to distant places and make many new amazing friends. But I can’t imagine a world in which I won’t smile gratefully at the memory of the world’s best cast & crew; celebrating and singing their bloody hearts out, in a small, dark, and awesomely sticky bar.

I love you guys.

xxb

What the what?!!

I’m back. It’s time. I’ve been very selfish and gone off and experienced some pretty awesome things (and some equally terrible ones) and not shared one detail with any of you. I’m ready. Ready for what?? God, who knows. But it’s been a long time and I miss writing and sharing, and if you like to come visit and read what I have to say, then yay! If not, no worries… I won’t even know to miss ya. :p

So what happens here? Look around a little. Read some old posts. Or just wait for what comes next. If you’ve been a follower since I started this almost 2 years ago, you kinda know what to expect… If you’ve just joined the clan, hopefully we can share some things that will allow us to make a little more sense of this crazy carousel ride we’re all on. TOGETHER. Lately I am constantly reminding myself that we are all truly in this together… whether we like it or not. More on that later.

So welcome! Or welcome back! I love to hear from you guys & gals, so feel free to leave me a comment. Hope I can at the very least entertain and give ya some fat to chew on.

Onward!

Mad love. xxB

 

 

All is full of Love.

Tonight I’m just gonna be honest.

Ha.

As if I can be anything but.

Lately I have  many thoughts swimming through this brain, like separate schools of fish that mingle and kiss as they pause to change direction. For some reason everything seems brighter, sharper, more tangible.  When I walk the dogs I’ve stopped listening to music or talking on the phone because I can’t stop swallowing whole gulps of the world around me.  I can. not. stop. reading.  I, no joke, have about 10 books scattered around my bed and dinner table. I feel like I am eating the most substantially delectable home cooked meal, made up of all that my mind and body have ever needed or desired.  Do I sound crazy? I don’t care. For the first time, in a long time, I am content.

One of my teachers recently told me that when she first set out on the journey within herself, she was told by her teacher that it was the beginning of the end of loneliness.

Here is where the real honesty comes in:  I have been lonely all of my life.

Not for lack of friends. Obviously ABSOLUTELY not from lack of family. Never because I didn’t have enough to do or  to be.  I just always felt that something was missing.  That for whatever reason I wasn’t accessing something that I knew could open me up to an entirely different way of life and feeling, and healing, and loving. I remember as a child, sitting and watching my father while he read at the kitchen table.  His forehead creased, deep in thought. At that young age, I sensed a deep sadness within him.  Years later, after I dropped out of college and was trying to desperately find myself… I came across my first Rilke poem.  It rocked me. I was blown away that this person from another time and place was able to encapsulate the very essence of what, at that time, was absolutely breaking my heart. I will never forget sitting on the floor of the local library, buried under a pile of books, and reading:

“I beg you, be patient toward all that is unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not seek the answers, which cannot be given to you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live your way into the answer.”

I came home, locked myself in my room, and read every piece of Rilke I could get my hands on.  Later that night I joined my father in the kitchen and noticing my puffy eyes he asked, “what is it that has you so afraid?”.  I told him that I was sure that no one would ever truly understand me.  I will never forget the gentleness and love in his voice as he put his arms around me and murmured, “But sweetie, don’t you know that is the best part?”

I often think about that moment as one of the very pivotal points in my young life.  It made it okay to delve in deeper, to look at my time spent in solace as a gift. To realize that it didn’t matter if no one understood me, as long as I understood myself. It’s what drives me to come here and post. I suppose because as my search within deepens I have found a truth that I want to share with all of you.  Something that is so utterly simplistic and basic, and yet so many of us travel great lengths in the wrong ass direction to find it.  If only we could wrap our minds, NO, if only we could wrap our HEARTS around the idea that the greatest lesson we need to learn, must be taught to us by OURSELVES.

As I sat next to my father’s hospital bed, the night before he died, I racked my brain for what I wanted to say to him.  He was unconscious, but I knew that no matter the state of his brain, he could hear me in his heart. I thought about how in life, we often think about this day… what will you say to the one you love when it’s time to say goodbye for now?  I always thought there would be a laundry list of items. So many things to say.

In that moment there was only one.

I just wanted him to know how much I loved him.

In the most awful, terrible moment of my life… I was so acutely aware of the love. In fact, it prevailed over any other emotion.

All is love. All is full of love.

You are love. I am love.

This is the lesson that you must teach yourself.  NOPE, It’s not enough to nod your head and say yeah yeah yeah. You have to FEEL it people.  I want you to KNOW it. I want you to feel it pull at you from your insides in such a way that if I were to turn you inside out I would be smacked in the face, blinded and burned, blown away by the fucking cacophony of love bliss pouring out your veins and arteries and organs and bones.  How do you know if your own assuredness of love is in question? Have you felt lonely in this lifetime? Do you search for contentment through money and toys and houses and success and AND AND AND OTHER PEOPLE…. LOVERS, FRIENDS,RELATIONSHIPS???

BE FUCKING HONEST!

DO YOU LOVE YOURSELF? DO YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE LOVE???

And the fact that some of you are rolling your eyes and calling this new age bullshit (I mean I’m shocked if those same people have even continued reading this far) is ABSOLUTE PROOF that this subject matter makes us so uncomfortable that we believe the only people who think or feel this way tote around yoga mats and go barefoot and naked, singing kumbaya in the rain.

If there is a part of you that longs for something more. That wonders why life feels so difficult at times. If you feel like you can’t catch a break, or that it seems that everywhere you look there’s heartbreak, and sorrow, and fear. Stop what you are doing. Stop right now. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Now turn within. See inside yourself; if it’s dark as hell, that’s okay. Darkness is just the absence of light, so we’re gonna bring a little in… imagine a small speck of glitter, a tiny particle of light…. it twinkles at first, and now it’s starting to grow. It doesn’t have to get too big, there’s plenty of time for that.  Just let it be.  You’ve just planted your first seed. It’ll be there whenever you need to check back in. Try to allow yourself to understand how deliciously perfect you are in this moment. and the next. and the next. And the more that you accept that the fact that no one else is like you is UH-maaaaaaaazing, the more that little glitter seed will blossom. I’m talking the biggest baddest 1970’s dance floor where you take the main stage and everyone’s bathed in the luscious light of your multi-faceted disco ball o’ LOVE.

All is love. All is full of love. You are love.

Doesn’t matter if you believe me or not, you are.  I hope one day you will see. The beauty is, once you see it in yourself, you will recognize it in everyone else. And that will be the end of loneliness as you know it.

I slip in and out of the Sea at night with this
Amazed soul I have.

I am like a magnificent, magic ocean turtle
Who sets aside his vast wings of
Blue effulgence

When I crawl upon your shores
To leave my divine seed of verse.

Let me remain cryptic tonight
All the way till dawn
As I orbit God
In this holy, ecstatic mood.

Grab hold of the corners
Of my luminous, tender shell
And I will whirl for you,

For I am covered with eminent crystals
That I have gathered from the infinite depths
Of love.

Follow my tracks in the sand that lead
Beyond thought and space,

For I can see deep down
That you are really a golden bird
That needs to
Dance

~Hafiz

xxB