Imperfect Perfection

by bkajlich

Busy days tend to make for lazy nights, and I almost talked myself out of a sit this evening.  However, I peeked online and saw that Miss 365 runs had in fact gone for a run AND posted about it despite a transatlantic flight and so if only out of a little healthy sibling rivalry… here I is.  Turning on the light, I caught sight of Luna, my 5 year old Boston Terrier, curled up on my meditation cushion snoring away.  As I sat down she rolled over and away from me, but then proceeded to attempt to roll back after I got into position.  I was tired and not really into the sit as it was, so I became a little annoyed when I couldn’t get her to leave me alone. This little tug of war continued for a couple minutes until I finally gave up. As I closed my eyes and began to breathe the first thought that came up was “why CAN’T I meditate with a lovely warm being curled up against me??”  I mean really, what was the harm in letting her be there?  Just because there wasn’t an abundance of animals at any of the meditation retreats I have attended doesn’t mean that there was anything inherently wrong with it.  The whole nature of meditation is to allow what is in the present moment to be.  To give it permission to exist without trying to fade it, or fix it, or change it.  How many times in my life have I had that same tug of war with circumstances that I couldn’t change but damned if I wasn’t going to try to anyway.  We bring suffering into our own lives when we refuse to accept that things won’t always be exactly how we want them. And the sooner we accept this notion, the sooner we can get on with our beautiful fabulous lives…. let me tell you, as I sat and focused on my breath tonight, I became aware of the sweetest sense of warmth spreading from that little body next to mine.  What initially frustrated me and gave me pause ended up being my favorite part of my sit this evening.  362 to go….. xx