chaos

by bkajlich

Dogs barking, wind blowing, hail falling, lights flickering… and all during my sit this evening.  I am the first one to make light of how southern Californians go “stormwatch” crazy when we get a little rain.  But, even I must say that the storm this evening is pretty darn hectic.  Miraculously, my leak has abated some… I think even it got a little tired of the monotonous downpour.  I felt pretty cozy with my second(yay) fire in as many days burning, a little glass of vino, and a chat with a dear friend. I could hear the all the blustering fury going on outside, but inside it felt still and warm.

Remind you of anything?

As I lay here in bed typing this, the storm rages on. It’s comforting in an odd way. I love the sounds of the dogs snoring softly around me juxtaposed against the calamity outside.  I think of another one of my favorite Rilke poems.

You, Darkness

You, darkness, that I come from,
I love you more than all the fires
that fence in the world,
for the fire makes
a circle of light for everyone,
and then no one outside learns of you.

But the darkness pulls in everything:
shapes and fires, animals and myself,
how easily it gathers them! –
powers and people –

and it is possible a great energy
is moving near me.

I have faith in nights.”

I love the notion of the darkness pulling us in… that it should be a comfort rather than something to be feared. I read this poem and  know that when I wake up tomorrow and the storm has passed, there will be part of me wishing I could return to this moment….. in stillness, with chaos all around. xx