by bkajlich

I’ve had a bit of a dry spell, yes it’s true. Now, its not that i didnt have anything to say. Oh no. I either didn’t understand what I had to say, or had so much that I didn’t know how to say it. Probably a little of both.

We all have SO much to say. Do we not? Opinions, thoughts, likes, dislikes, wants, needs, hopes, dreams, disappointments, and expectations. EXPECTATIONS. Oh, the hail mary mother of them all…. Those damn expectations.

When we expect something we look forward to the probable occurrance or appeance of something. You all probably expected to see a blog post here many times over the course of the past month and were rightfully disappointed each time you realized there was not. I set you up to expect that after my first month of blogging yielded a post almost everyday. However, if I had been honest from the get go… I could have predicted this and reported to all of you that whilst I mostly have the best of intentions, consistency is not my strong suit. I always begin everything with dramatic gusto, an explosion of creative fury… Only to have the massive roar reduced to a seductive meow as time moves on. Welcome, welcome dear hearts to the more realistic, feline approach to this blog… Not as much as the first month… But I PROMISE not as little as the last.

But I digress….

Back to expectations. Back to having a lot to say. Back to reality, oops there goes gravity, oops there goes Rabbit… oops… Derailed by Eminem lyrics….


Why. Why when we are disappointed by someone or something yet again. Why when someone doesn’t do what we think they should, could, would AGAIN! WHY?? Why is it so difficult for us to see that we have placed our expectations too high?? US! YOU! ME! Not them!! We think that because we believe something of someone, then it must be true. But it is OUR belief, not theirs. It is our dream, wish, hope for them. As noble and good as our intentions may be, if it is not what they want for themselves then it is not for us to decide. It is our expectation that sets us up for disappointment, not the behavior. What’s the old expression? If it walks like a duck….

So much to say.

I went to a place in Hollywood last week called Da Poetry Lounge. The Spoken Word. Not Rap darlings. Beautiful, flowing, powerful, impressive, inspiring poetry. I was absolutely spellbound. I loved every second of it. People have so much to say…. And the real magic occurs when people with loads to say are surrounded by people who want to listen. There was a cozy blanket of acceptance and support in this place… Words that resonated were met with whoops and whistles. When something struck a familiar chord you could almost feel the collectively inhaled breath. It was an amazing thing to witness and experience. I found myself thinking HOW AWESOME. How awesome that this gathering is motivated by a simple need.  The need to speak. The need to be heard. The need to share and weave a tapestry of truth that we can all connect with.  I have something to say. It’s why I write here is it not?  We all experience so much in our little existence here on this great big earth. On this green and blue planet spinning dizzily amongst a vast multitude of sparkling objects that we look to each night to ponder and question “WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN???”




I know you have something to say.

And if you don’t know what that is…. SIT. Be still. Be a still cup. It will all come to you in time. Drop your expectations of what you think it all should be. Hold onto your heart. Keep an awareness of your dreams.  Let go of all else…..

To make love,
For the divine alchemy to work,
The Pitcher needs a still cup.
Ask Hafiz to say
Anything more about
Your most

Our MOST VITAL REQUIREMENT. Oh how I love that.  When I talk to people about my meditation and  work with various healers and teachers I often hear the same thing…. “What a luxury!”

Nope. Not a luxury. A Necessity.

It is my most vital requirement.  All else pales in comparison. If I do not make myself a vessel through which all experience and knowledge flows, then I am of no use to anyone. I’m a sail full of holes flapping in a blustering early morning wind.

I am not perfect.  I have a long way to go. But I am sitting. I am letting go of expectation. I am dancing my hands over the lump of clay on the wheel, patiently guiding all the rough edges to smooth round corners as I mold my still cup. I am listening. I am waiting. I am speaking….

and I have something to say.